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Hi Reader, For generations, women were born and raised to care for the next generation. They were taught to cook, clean, sew holes in socks, set tables to perfection, and care for younger siblings. From the very beginning, they were conditioned for a role that needed to be filled. Then, a generation began to fight back. They said no to tradition and knocked on the doors of education and career paths that had once been closed to them. They studied, sought mentors, and fought for opportunities. Then came the next generations—girls who did their homework, played soccer and piano, danced The Nutcracker, and built science experiments. They had choices. Their interests expanded, their calendars filled, and they got good at juggling it all. Then came love, marriage, and maybe even a baby in a baby carriage… And the women did what they had been conditioned to do: read, study, practice, and fill their schedules.Their partners had chosen them because they were different from the women who raised them. They loved their independence. But who was supposed to do the things that had once been assigned by gender rather than choice? Arguments begin. Resentment builds. The divide grows. "I work more hours than you." – But we wanted this home and family together… "I make more money than you." – But the hours I spend caring for our home and family have value too… "You’re so much better at it than me." – But the only reason I’m good at this is because I’ve had more practice… Standing firm in what they each believe to be true, they lose sight of the dream they once shared-because that dream never accounted for who would do what to make it a reality. So now what? How do they start over in the middle of the chaos that building a life together creates? The resentment, the exhaustion, the feeling like you’re carrying more than your fair share—it doesn’t just go away. It either gets addressed or it builds until one of you breaks. You don’t have to wait for things to get worse. You can start shifting the dynamic now. Reply "I'm ready" and let's talk about what next steps make sense for you and/or your relationship. Katie |
As a therapist with 15 years of experience, I specialize in guiding high-achieving, busy couples who are ready to reconnect, rebuild, and thrive together. With a relatable, real-world approach (and a bit of humor), I teach couples practical, time-efficient tools to bridge their unique communication styles, rebuild trust, and find joy in their partnership again.
Hey there, Let’s talk about hyper-independence. You know, that thing where you handle everything yourself because “it’s just easier that way” (aka, you don’t trust anyone else to do it right). Hyper-independence isn’t just about being capable (which you clearly are). It’s about struggling to let someone else in. Maybe you grew up having to handle things solo, maybe you’ve been burned before, or maybe you just think your partner will wait until December 23rd to start holiday shopping (and,...
Hey Reader, A tough part of my work is helping couples decide if they'll stay together or not. In fact, one of them usually shares with me privately that they are considering leaving before they share with their partner. Here are the questions I have them answer before making this difficult decision: 1) What needs do you have that are not being met in the relationship? Have you communicated them clearly? How many times and what was the outcome?2) Are the needs you have needs your partner...
“Ships passing in the night,” that’s how clients have shared with me it feels with their partner. There’s just so much going on that prioritizing their relationship is last on the list. Over time, this is what leads couples to question if there is anything left in their relationship to stick around for. They’ve forgotten how to prioritize their relationship, and when they do, they get angry if their partner isn’t doing it too. Here’s something I want you to try this month to get out of this...